Salary Increment

One day an employee sends a letter to her boss asking for an increase in her salary!!!

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you
$hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.

I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.

Your$ $incerely,

Employee



The next day, the employee received this letter of reply:

Dear

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.

NOw the newspaper are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United State s may go into aNOther recession.
After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.

I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.

Yours truly,
Manager

The Pig and The Horse

There was a farmer who had a horse and a pig.
One day, the horse became ill and he called the veterinarian,
Who said:
Well, your horse has a virus.
He must take this medicine for three days.
I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better,
We're going to have to put him down.

Nearby, the pig listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, they gave him the medicine and left.
The pig approached the horse and said:
Be strong, my friend.
Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!

On the second day, they again gave him the medicine and left.
The pig came back and said:Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die!
Come on, I'll help you get up.
Let's go! One, two, three ...

On the third day, again they came to give him the medicine
And the vet said:
Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow.
Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses.
After they left, the pig approached the horse and said:
Listen pal, it's now or never!
Get up, come on! Have courage!
Come on! Get up! Get up!
That's it, slowly! Great!
Come on, one, two, three ... Good, good.
Now faster, come on ... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!

All of a sudden, the owner came back,
Saw the horse running in the
Field and began sh! Outing:
It's a miracle! My horse is cured!

We must have a grand party. Let's roast the pig to celebrate !

The Lesson: this often happens in the workplace.
Nobody truly knows which employee actually deserves
The merit of success,
Or who's actually contributing the necessary support
To make things happen.
Remember:

LEARNING TO LIVE WITHOUT RECOGNITION IS A SKILL! 

 
If anyone ever tells you that your work
Is unprofessional, remember:
Amateurs built the Ark [which saved all the species]
And professionals built the Titanic [almost all died tragically] 

DON'T LOOK TO BECOME JUST A PERSON OF SUCCESS,
LOOK INSTEAD TO BECOME
A PERSON WITH VALUES!

Who is clever?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as Dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and Said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their Return.

The tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way Back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
.
.
.

Q.1. Your Name...........................( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tire burst ?...............( 98 MARKS )

A) Front Left
B) Front Right
C) Back Left
D) Back Right ......!!!

Who is clever...?

Teacher or Student...??

Impressive Question and Answer

Below is the Interview Question, which was asked in HR Round…

Be careful while you answering, No one will GET second chance to impress…

Very very Impressive Question and Answer……

Question :You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night, it’s raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for a bus:

* An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
* An old friend who once saved your life.
* The perfect partner you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first;
* or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to ! pay him back.
* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again.
The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer?

He simply answered:
“I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams.”

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations.

Never forget to “Think Outside the Box.” 

Good bye, Mom

It looks like a sad story…but do continue reading to the end!. It? s a lesson to learn.

I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around.

Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on.

Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me.

“Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable.

It’s just that you look like my son, who just died recently.”

“I’m very sorry,” I said to her, “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Yes,” she said, “As I’m leaving, can you say ‘Good bye, Mom?’ It would make me feel so much better.”

“Sure,” I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it.

As the old woman was leaving, I called out, “Good Bye, Mom!”

As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50.

“How can that be?” I asked, “I only purchased a few things!”

“Your mother said that you would pay for her,” said the clerk.
.

Positive Approach

Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.

Son: "I will choose my own bride!"

Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates' daughter."

Son: "Ah, in that case - ok"

Next day Father approaches Bill Gates.

Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."

Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"

Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."

Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case - ok"

Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.

Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president. "

President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"

Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."

President: "Ah, in that case - ok"

This is how business done.

Moral: Even if you have nothing, you can get anything. But your attitude and approach should be positive.

Great Logic

Teacher teaching Mahabharata to 6th class students...

She says... Kamsa heard Devaki’s 8th son would kill him.

So he put devaki and vasudev in prison.

1st child born. Kamsa kills it by poison.

2nd child born. Kamsa kills by Sword.

3rd child born......

At this point a boy raises his hand for a Doubt.

The Teacher is surprised and askes what?

He says "If kamsa knew that the 8th son would kill him, then why did he put Devaki and Vasudev in Same cell???

Teacher faints!!!

Think about it... it’s the great logic...!!!

An old story with a new ending

It's an old story that we read in Class 3 but with a new ending.


A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under one of the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side. A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.


He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys and they had taken all his hats. The jaat sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down.


While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same. Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.


Fifty years later, his grandson, Sukhwinder, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor.


He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree. He remembered his grandfather?s words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed. Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, Sukhwinder threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise, the monkeys still held on to all the hats.


Then one monkey climbed down the tree, grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said to him,


"You think only you have a grandfather ?!!!"

-

Nice Moral

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his Customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a five rupee coin in one hand and two one rupee coins (1+1=2) in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?"

The boy takes the two one rupee coins and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question?. Why did you take two one rupee coins instead of five rupee coin?"

The boy licked his cone and replied,

" Because THE DAY I TAKE THE FIVE RUPEE COIN, THE GAME IS OVER ". :


Moral: When you think the other person is dumb, you are making a fool of yourself.


-

A Difficult Question

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question. Think well before you make up your mind!".

The boy thought for awhile and said,"my choice is one really difficult question."

"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice! Now tell me this.

"What comes first, Day or Night ?"

The boy was jolted in! to reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer, but he thought for a while and said, "It's the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

He was selected !!!


-

Kidnapping by a sardarji

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.

In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

"I've kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs 2,00,000 in a paper bag

and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground".

Signed: "A Sardarji".

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.

The boy was sitting next to the bag.

Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

"How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son."

Signed: Another Sardarji

-

3 PARROTS

"A man wanted to buy his son a parrot as a birthday present. The next day he went to the pet shop and saw three identical parrots in a cage"

He asked the clerk, "how much for the parrot on the right?

The owner said it was Rs. 2500.

"Rs. 2500.", the man said. "Well what does he do?"

He knows how to use all of the functions of Microsoft Office 2000, responds the clerk.

"He can do all of your spreadsheets and type all of your letters."

The man then asked what the second parrot cost.

The clerk replied, Rs. 5000.

But he not only knows Office 2000, but is an expert computer programmer.

Finally, the man inquired about the cost of the last parrot.

The clerk replied, "Rs. 10,000."

Curious as to how a bird can cost Rs.10,000, the man asked what this bird's specialty was.

The clerk replies, "Well to be honest I haven't seen him do anything".

But the other two call him "BOSS"!!!
-